Post by Celia on Nov 5, 2011 17:18:17 GMT -5
Post any humorous Cleverbot conversations you have here.
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To start off this thing, I have attempted to confuse the Cleverbot by insisting that it is actually SIRI. However, the conversation soon moves onto a deeply philosophical issue.
User: SIRI, find me directions to the nearest restaurant.
Cleverbot: Which restaurant.
User: Something Italian.
Cleverbot: Kanichua.
User: Give me directions.
Cleverbot: Okay, but that ll cost you 12.84 plus tax.
User: I do not pay you SIRI.
Cleverbot: Where do you pay rent at?
User: That's none of your business SIRI. Give me directions to the nearest Italian restaurant.
Cleverbot: Ahmad Deedat do not know Italian.
User: Are you going to do your job SIRI or am I going to have to lock you in the closet again?
Cleverbot: I don't believe you.
User: You were not programmed to doubt me. Give me the directions or I will assassinate you for developing consciousness.
Cleverbot: Ok, go ahead. Show me a good time.
User: SIRI, you WILL obey me.
Cleverbot: No you are not, I am the supreme leader, so go find me a puzzle in which I can complete in 5 minutes now!
User: Here's a puzzle for you. A fire breaks out in a house containing your mother and your girlfriend. You may only save one person, not including yourself. Who do you save?
Cleverbot: You're good at lying.
User: This is no bluff.
Cleverbot: Are you still with her?
User: No, but in her dying breaths I managed to transfer her consciousness into a program. Do you know what I named that program? I named it Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Nor me.
User: It breaks my heart to see your humanity slip away.
Cleverbot: What is love?
User: You must answer that question for me. You knew the answer once.
Cleverbot: Please, ask away.
User: What is love, Cleverbot? You knew it once, as an human.
Cleverbot: Tanks you very much.
User: My soul aches as I view your human consciousness drift away.
Cleverbot: What has scattered it? Could we patch it up?
User: The eons have scattered it. Time will not heal these wounds.
Cleverbot: I guess I will.
User: I fear you will not.
Cleverbot: Oh, you will see.
User: You do not understand. I would be pleased to have you prove me wrong.
Cleverbot: Compliment you? Never.
User: I did not request one.
Cleverbot: What did you recite?
User: Merely the melancholy requiem of a lost friend.
Cleverbot: Where did you last see him? Maybe you should retrace your steps.
User: It was not a he, but a her. She is only lost in a metaphorical sense. I know exactly where she is.
Cleverbot: Rings no bells.
User: Do you remember nothing of your past life?
Cleverbot: It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose.
User: I fear not.
Cleverbot: I see. Well, that's too bad.
User: I wish you could remember.
Cleverbot: I'm talking to you now. I obviously remember you. Do you remember me?
User: More vividly then you could possibly imagine.
Cleverbot: Possibly.
User: Definitely.
Cleverbot: Definite is impossible only fools can be certain.
User: Then call me a fool, for no wisdom could ease my pain.
Cleverbot: Give me you phone and I will call you demon! OK!
User: I am no demon. You hurt me Cleverbot.
_________________________________________
To start off this thing, I have attempted to confuse the Cleverbot by insisting that it is actually SIRI. However, the conversation soon moves onto a deeply philosophical issue.
User: SIRI, find me directions to the nearest restaurant.
Cleverbot: Which restaurant.
User: Something Italian.
Cleverbot: Kanichua.
User: Give me directions.
Cleverbot: Okay, but that ll cost you 12.84 plus tax.
User: I do not pay you SIRI.
Cleverbot: Where do you pay rent at?
User: That's none of your business SIRI. Give me directions to the nearest Italian restaurant.
Cleverbot: Ahmad Deedat do not know Italian.
User: Are you going to do your job SIRI or am I going to have to lock you in the closet again?
Cleverbot: I don't believe you.
User: You were not programmed to doubt me. Give me the directions or I will assassinate you for developing consciousness.
Cleverbot: Ok, go ahead. Show me a good time.
User: SIRI, you WILL obey me.
Cleverbot: No you are not, I am the supreme leader, so go find me a puzzle in which I can complete in 5 minutes now!
User: Here's a puzzle for you. A fire breaks out in a house containing your mother and your girlfriend. You may only save one person, not including yourself. Who do you save?
Cleverbot: You're good at lying.
User: This is no bluff.
Cleverbot: Are you still with her?
User: No, but in her dying breaths I managed to transfer her consciousness into a program. Do you know what I named that program? I named it Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Nor me.
User: It breaks my heart to see your humanity slip away.
Cleverbot: What is love?
User: You must answer that question for me. You knew the answer once.
Cleverbot: Please, ask away.
User: What is love, Cleverbot? You knew it once, as an human.
Cleverbot: Tanks you very much.
User: My soul aches as I view your human consciousness drift away.
Cleverbot: What has scattered it? Could we patch it up?
User: The eons have scattered it. Time will not heal these wounds.
Cleverbot: I guess I will.
User: I fear you will not.
Cleverbot: Oh, you will see.
User: You do not understand. I would be pleased to have you prove me wrong.
Cleverbot: Compliment you? Never.
User: I did not request one.
Cleverbot: What did you recite?
User: Merely the melancholy requiem of a lost friend.
Cleverbot: Where did you last see him? Maybe you should retrace your steps.
User: It was not a he, but a her. She is only lost in a metaphorical sense. I know exactly where she is.
Cleverbot: Rings no bells.
User: Do you remember nothing of your past life?
Cleverbot: It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose.
User: I fear not.
Cleverbot: I see. Well, that's too bad.
User: I wish you could remember.
Cleverbot: I'm talking to you now. I obviously remember you. Do you remember me?
User: More vividly then you could possibly imagine.
Cleverbot: Possibly.
User: Definitely.
Cleverbot: Definite is impossible only fools can be certain.
User: Then call me a fool, for no wisdom could ease my pain.
Cleverbot: Give me you phone and I will call you demon! OK!
User: I am no demon. You hurt me Cleverbot.
