Post by Celia on Jul 23, 2011 0:15:16 GMT -5
This is one of my first short stories, which I wrote last night. Please leave comments, criticism and possible praise in response, as I would like to know what you think.
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Who Are We?
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I could not remember much at all before then. The first thing that comes to mind was that I was standing at the edge of a vast forest. I stood in a vast field of frozen earth, and as my eyesight searched across the ground ahead of me I saw trees relatively close to me, whose frequency increased as my sight searched farther into the background.
I couldn't really think of anything to do, having no memories to speak of, and therefore no objectives to plague my head. So I stood. And I stared. I took in the scenery for a while. Looking back, it wasn't hard to remember the place, as I had no clutter in my mind. I studied what I saw. I did this not out of boredom, nor in search of something to do. I just looked and took in information. I observed, for instance, as the trees pried through the chilled soil to pull nutrients from what little soil around it was not permanently frozen.
But then I saw something.
A figure of simple and peculiar stature stood off in the distance. It stood among the trees and blended in well, and I would have never noticed it had I not been staring at the forest for a particularly long amount of time.
What's more, he appeared to be looking back at me.
I looked down at my arms so that I would have something to compare it to. It really looked nothing like me. That marked the first time I had thought of myself. I had just never crossed my mind before that point, but it was at that moment that I first recalled myself.
To look at his arms and then at mine was a difference of night and day. His seemed a good deal less soft than mine, bearing a rough texture even more coarse then the trees around him. His joints were far more rigid. He was also quite a bit more thin than I. He seemed so thin, in fact, that I realized that I could never become a comparable figure to he, as my bones would prevent me from becoming skinny enough to bear any resemblance to him, even if I tried. He was also very tall, which allowed him to fit in among the trees.
Looking back, I believe that some people would find this startling or scary. I did not. I knew nothing else but he, so why would I fear him? If there was reason to be afraid, I had no manner in which to recall it.
This was when it first came to mind that I could speak.
However, I had not the foggiest idea what to say.
I wished for him to speak first, but based on the amount of time that I had been there, I guessed that he would have spoken to me earlier if he had any intent on doing so.
The first objective that I had ever developed in my memory was to change that.
I spoke loudly and clearly (and perhaps more stern then I would have liked), so that he would hear me across such a distance.
My first word was, “Speak.”
The figure shifted around a little, clearly in reaction to me. It was a few seconds before it gave a response.
“I'm sorry,” it stated in a longing voice. The tone it emitted seemed almost to be a whisper, but I knew it could not or I would not have heard it across such a distance.
“I know that it's rude to stare.”
It paused briefly.
“It's just that,”
He paused once more.
“You look so familiar.”
________________________
Who Are We?
________________________
I could not remember much at all before then. The first thing that comes to mind was that I was standing at the edge of a vast forest. I stood in a vast field of frozen earth, and as my eyesight searched across the ground ahead of me I saw trees relatively close to me, whose frequency increased as my sight searched farther into the background.
I couldn't really think of anything to do, having no memories to speak of, and therefore no objectives to plague my head. So I stood. And I stared. I took in the scenery for a while. Looking back, it wasn't hard to remember the place, as I had no clutter in my mind. I studied what I saw. I did this not out of boredom, nor in search of something to do. I just looked and took in information. I observed, for instance, as the trees pried through the chilled soil to pull nutrients from what little soil around it was not permanently frozen.
But then I saw something.
A figure of simple and peculiar stature stood off in the distance. It stood among the trees and blended in well, and I would have never noticed it had I not been staring at the forest for a particularly long amount of time.
What's more, he appeared to be looking back at me.
I looked down at my arms so that I would have something to compare it to. It really looked nothing like me. That marked the first time I had thought of myself. I had just never crossed my mind before that point, but it was at that moment that I first recalled myself.
To look at his arms and then at mine was a difference of night and day. His seemed a good deal less soft than mine, bearing a rough texture even more coarse then the trees around him. His joints were far more rigid. He was also quite a bit more thin than I. He seemed so thin, in fact, that I realized that I could never become a comparable figure to he, as my bones would prevent me from becoming skinny enough to bear any resemblance to him, even if I tried. He was also very tall, which allowed him to fit in among the trees.
Looking back, I believe that some people would find this startling or scary. I did not. I knew nothing else but he, so why would I fear him? If there was reason to be afraid, I had no manner in which to recall it.
This was when it first came to mind that I could speak.
However, I had not the foggiest idea what to say.
I wished for him to speak first, but based on the amount of time that I had been there, I guessed that he would have spoken to me earlier if he had any intent on doing so.
The first objective that I had ever developed in my memory was to change that.
I spoke loudly and clearly (and perhaps more stern then I would have liked), so that he would hear me across such a distance.
My first word was, “Speak.”
The figure shifted around a little, clearly in reaction to me. It was a few seconds before it gave a response.
“I'm sorry,” it stated in a longing voice. The tone it emitted seemed almost to be a whisper, but I knew it could not or I would not have heard it across such a distance.
“I know that it's rude to stare.”
It paused briefly.
“It's just that,”
He paused once more.
“You look so familiar.”
