Bwoosh

[Hauskaz]

Bwoosh
Chapter 1: The Testicles Agreed

Where to, master?

Her adult life up to this point had been a career of servitude. It was a painful life, but she was not concerned, as long as she remained aware that any polynomial divided by a binomial will result in a quotient added to the remainder. Such knowledge kept her warm through the cold, sleepless nights spent in hotel rooms.

---

She was only seven when she first encountered the table saw. It was a fierce and awful device, yet its capabilities drew her in. She didn't even notice until later when the blade dug into her arm, detaching it from the rest of herself. Blinding pain came moments later. She could not handle the sheering sensation of a lost limb, and quickly fainted. She was losing blood fast.

When she woke up, she was an onion.

[killerinstinct]

... That's the weirdest thing I've ever read. Ever.

[Wulfi]

So that's what happens when you die!

[Hauskaz]

Bwoosh
Chapter 2: Here Comes the Rain Again

Walk with me,
talk with me
like lovers do.

Suki thought Vancouver would be a new life for her, but nothing was different. At most, there were more foreigners, but this was their homeland, and she was now the outsider. She could not run from what she had made of herself. This was now her destiny.

---

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!"
She couldn't comprehend what had just happened. There she lay, buried in the ground. Despite her efforts, it was impossible to express her distress. She was but one of the hundreds of onions ready for harvesting.

Life as an onion was rough. Like any other onion, she was quite literally a vegetable, incapable of anything beyond living. Her bulb had a very strong flavour and a very distinctive smell to it. If anyone cut her, it would have likely resulted in eye irritation.

The onions that surrounded her were bound for many uses. Some would be fried and served with hot dogs, while others would face a pickled preservation until they found their place in a salad. The unlucky few would be sliced and placed in hamburgers for the consumption of overweight people. A few more were destined to mutilation and burial in a stew.

To this day, onions face a bleak future as more and more people discover their distinctive flavouring. These barbaric practices are absolutely atrocious and cannot possibly be tolerated in today's world. It is essential to spread the holy truth with the hope that one day, the beautiful onion we know and love will be spared a premature end.

[Hauskaz]

Bwoosh
Chapter 3: Love Notes

Wow Gold.

From the time each of my children started school, I packed their lunches. And in each lunch I packed, I included a note. Often written on a napkin, the note might be a thank you for a special moment, a reminder of something we were happily anticipating, or a bit of encouragement for an upcoming test or sporting event.
In early grade school they loved their notes; they commented on them after school, and when I went back to teaching, they even put notes in my lunches. But as kids grow older they become self-conscious, and by the time he reached high school, my older son, Marc, informed me he no longer needed my daily missives. Informing him that they had been written as much for me as for him, and that he no longer needed to read them but I still needed to write them, I continued the tradition until the day he graduated.

Six years after high school graduation, Marc called and asked if he could move home for a couple of months. He had spent those years well, graduating Phi Beta Kappa magna cum laude from college, completing two congressional internships in Washington, D.C., winning the Jesse Marvin Unruh Fellowship to the California State Legislature, and finally becoming a legislative assistant in Sacramento. Other than short vacation visits, however, he had lived away from home. With his younger sister leaving for college, I was especially thrilled to have Marc coming home.

A couple weeks after Marc arrived home to rest, regroup and write for a while, he was back at work-he had been recruited to do campaign work. Since I was still making lunch every day for his younger brother, I packed one for Marc, too. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from my 24-year-old son, complaining about his lunch.

"Did I do something wrong? Aren't I still your kid? Don't you love me any more, Mom?" were just a few of the queries he threw at me as I laughingly asked him what was wrong.

"My note, Mom," he answered. "Where's my note?"

This year my youngest son will be a senior in high school. He, too, has now announced that he is too old for notes. But like his older brother and sister before him, he will receive those notes till the day he graduates; and in whatever lunches I pack for him afterwards.

[Admin]

Oh Hauskaz... I'm so disappointed in you...

You stole this story. Or (A more unlikely scenario) prewritten it. Either way, I'm afraid to be the one to tell you that this will not qualify you to continue...

www.turnbacktogod.com/leave-love-notes-to-your-kids/

[Hauskaz]

I did not steal that story. I stole the following one:

xiiiidiots.proboards22.com/index.cgi?board=complaint&action=display&thread=1630&page=1

[Admin]

Still a stolen story. Rewrite it.

[Hauskaz]

Bwoosh
Chapter 3: Reality

The facade never did hold well.

Suki never thought she would have to abandon her homeland, but it was the only way she could escape what had become of herself. The boat ride was forever tiresome. The endless ocean which surrounded the vessel on all sides instilled a lost hopelessness to what was supposed to be a new beginning. She only wished she could go back and fix her life, but it was too late now.

---

When she was 11, Suki once entered herself into a writing competition. It was part of her school's new literacy development plan, encouraging creativity and proficiency with the Korean language. the $500 first place award drew most of the entrants in, but she never expected to have a chance at winning it. For Suki, she simply enjoyed writing what came to her mind. Losing her dominant arm four years ago never stopped her from doing what she enjoyed.

A week after submitting her entry, the judging panel had made their decision. There were a number of impressive stories, but Suki felt unusually confident about her work. An assembly had been called to announce the winner of the contest. Suki and the other participants were scattered among the audience as everyone waited for the announcement.

"그리고 첫번째 장소 우승자는 동성애 흡혈귀이다!"

Suki was shocked. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. The whole gymnasium fell to a stunned silence.

[Hauskaz]

Bwoosh
Chapter 4: My Head Hurts

I'll write this later.

[Admin]

I like it.