Matt's short stories - A blunder of randomness.

[Deleted]

Here I will post my random short stories I made out of boredom. They will have lots of spelling mistakes, but I just made them to keep me busy for thirty minutes or so, enjoy and judge bad and good!

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"I'm telling you didn't do it! I'm telling the TRUTH GAH!" I picked up the chair and threw it right into that smirking idiots face.
What you see though is not what you think, well thats what I used to think anyways, before..... well let me tell you the story. I have a distinct memory of what happend that day, my sister just gave birth to a baby boy and I was coming to her apartment to visit her. It was a bleak december as I drove to her house, the storm was worse and I was feeling more misrable by the moment.
Then all of a sudden I heard a dull low moaning voice, I decided to ignore it because I was in a rush. Then as I drove further away from that very spot I heard that noise, it got louder, and faster. Every second I heard that moan I got more frightful and drove faster. Then as I was crossing over the bridge, thump. I slammed the breaks and jumped out of the car.
I scanned the area but I couldn't see anything and then I decided it was my imagination. As I went back in the car I noticed a figure running ontop of a nearby hill. It looked like it whether it was human or not was in trouble. I decided to drive away considering I was still in the rush to visit my nephew and I needed to get back to society from this dull country road. I calmed down for a bit considering I was on a two hour drive and I was only half way their.
About a thirty minutes away from my sisters house I heard the thumping noise again. I drove faster for I wanted to escape this wretched noise, but it just got louder as before. Then as I was driving over another bridge similar to the one I heard before, thump.
I twitched, I feared to go outside because I relized it was a deja-vu moment. Then in the distance I saw that figure again running, no idea how it cought up to me! but this time I decided to help it, I got out of my car and ran towards it. When I reached the figure I found out it was human, but barely, for you see his face was as pale as the moon and he had scars all over his face. He was missing two fingers, two toes, and had no left eye.
He hissed at me as I reached him,
"What buisnessssss do you have with me."
I explained to him how I thought he was in trouble.
""ssssssso you wiiisssssh to help me, yessss? Wellll then firssssst hand over...you're...SPIRIT!"
For after that I couldn't remember a single thing for I was unconscious for a mere two days, at least thats what I was told. Then when I woke up I raised my head and I noticed a throbing pain all over my body. I looked down and, "NO! He wouldn't have! AHHH!" for you see, I was pale as the moon, and I had scars all over my face. I was missing two fingers, two toes, and my left eye. I scanned my soroundings and I noticed that my car was still their. I continued my drive to my sisters house and explain this wreck. As I started the ignition I heard a low quick dull moan...





"No...not again....not again."
I was scared, my soul has been switched and now I was hearing things again. I slammed the breaks so hard on my car I was way past the speed limit. I didn't care I just wanted to get the hell out of their. By the time I reched town I wondered how long I was uncouncious for so as I parked my car outside the super market I went inside the super market. People gave me strange looks, I wasn't surprised I'd give this wretched body strange looks too. I found out I was uncouncious for two days, so I left the super market to rush to my sisters house.
As I left the building I saw a familiar person across the street...he looked sort of like someone I know... someone....hmmm....AHA! It was me across the street and apparently I was talking to some police officers. Only it wasnt me, it was that stranger that I swapped souls with. As I started walking to him hopefully to get my revenge but as I was only a mere two feet away the police officers looked at me and asked for me to stop. I stood their nervous looking over the police officers shoulders only to find that I was gone.
"Sir would you please come with me and put your hands behind your head" Said the poilce officer.
"But officer what did I do?" I replied.
"Apparently you stole that mans car and we would like it if you came to court, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used in court."
"But officer he swapped souls with me, I was just trying to help him but he swapped souls with me!"
"Yeah yeah thats what they all say, now get in the damn car!"
I co operated for I didnt want this mess to get any worse, I stepped in the police car and the officer took me away to prison where I spent the next two years.
I decided it was time to start a new life, my old life is gone now but its time I start a new one, I lived in Manhatton for a month or so after that incident and I was working at a fast food restorount since I had no proof of ID considering I was in a
diffrent person now. As I left for work I noticed somthing, somthing dreadfully aweful. Across the street, my former body. I ran across the street with evil in my eyes, I needed revenge as I drew nearer to my former self I punched my former self in the face. He started bleeding,
"GIVE ME BACK MY SOUL!" I yelled.
"The hells your problem you physco!" Replied my former self.
"YOU STOLE MY BODY AND RUINED MY LIFE!"
"What are you talking about! POLICE HELP THIS MANS ATTACKING ME!"
I ran, I wan't going to get introuble with the police again. That evil person, I would kill him and chop him up into a thousand pieces if I had the chance, HE RUINED MY LIFE! I was far enough that even if the police showed up to him I was at a safe distnace. Then I heard it, that fowl evil noise, the quick dull low moaning noise!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
I screamed at the top of my lungs for that fowl evil noise drove me crazy!
"THAT EVIL NOISE ITS SO FOWL, SO WRETCHED GAH IT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MY SELF WITH A BLADE AND RID MY TROUBLES FOREVER AHAHAAHH!"
Then for ten minutes I would scream and rant until I heard a police car nosie, apparently I was sent to a mental institution for being insaine, I kept denying it though, I told everyone the story but no one would belive me! The first week in the institution was hell, but then I learned acceptence and decided I was insaine until that faitful day.
"Everyone gather around we have a new person, say hi to bob!" said the nurse
"I TELL YOU IM NOT CRAZY! THEIRS A STALKER LOOSE WHO CAN CONTROL SOULS! He stole my life! HE RUINED ME GAHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Bob.
Aha! Finally someone who would belive me, I was nice to him for two days just so I could tell him my story. Then when I told him I went threw the same thing as him he hugged me. It was awkward but I hugged him back feeling a little weird.
"Thank you...finally after going through my whole life ruined because of this person. Thank you....." said Bob.
The next day we told the nurse it was our imagination about the voices and we were sorry, but she said no. The next day after that it was visitor day and apparently bob got someone to bring in a gun secretly, and as bob got it we planned to get out of here, one way or another.



-To be continued!

[Deleted]

I really had no idea how I came up with this....





Hello, my name is Willy. I am twenty nine and I have just started writing my novel of my life. I have come up with a word to describe my book, "My Bibiliography" I hope you like it. I will rehearse a chapter from my book to give you a sample of the greatness that is Ma-I mean Willy!

Chapter: 945612 - My first encounter with a you-know-what!

As I walked down the streat I had two things in mind, Boobies, and Cake! After all isn't that what a nine year old boy should be thinking about? So anyways I was walking home and then my neighber, Gorege Wakerston, who is this freaky old dude on my streat walked up to me. I was a little scared about his facial expression, it looked like he had to poo. As he came up to me I said,"Hey Mr.Wakerston how you feeling?" He smiled made a humming noise and said, "Fine that your hear now, want to come inside I have cake?" I had no clue how he knew I needed cake so I went inside and he had pictures of what I think his grandchildren all over the house. Apparently all of their names was Willy so I thought what a cool name I had. He gave me a delicious cake and then he asked if I wanted to take a tour of his house since I never have been inside it. As we finished looking in his bathroom we head into his bedroom and he locked the door. I was really scared and he said, "Child I have a gift for you" I -as a eager little nine year old in 1998 said- "Oh GIMME GIMME!" Little did I know that after that he pulled down his pants....and I saw the most precious thing in the whole wide world, it was so big and charged up! I said "OH MY! Mr.Wakerston you shouldn't have a gameboy color!!!!!!!!!!" He put the gameboy color strapped inbetween his underwere and his body, he asked me to grab it and to take it out slowly, as I did he growled. Then I heard the door open, his fourteen year-old sons douter had walked in. As she did she shouted, "GRAMPA ARE YOU RAPING ANOTHER CHILD!!?!?!?" Mr Wakerston replied, " Shut up Jenny and help me from this boy trying to steal my gameboy color!" I was in shock, he had gave me that gameboy color! Then the hot fourteen yearold walked in the bedroom and said, "oh its you willy...tehehe I always liked you want to take a tour of my bedroom?" And of corse me still interested in boobies and still eating cake said yes, and when we got into her bedroom she took off her shirt. I saw the most beautiful jiggily thinks they jiggled with her every step! I said "WOW JELL-O LEMME HAVE!!!" And so we ate Jell-o and cake and after that I wass full so I had to go home. I said bye to Mr.Wakerston and Jenny and walked home satisfied...I had seen the most beautiful thing today...a game boy color.


I hope you have enjoyed a chapter from, "My autobiography" And I hope you buy my book for only $125.4!


*All characters in this story are made up or imaginary people of Matt's imagination

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A little strange poem I made when I was little.





Their once was a story about a little boy. He was respected and well wishished upon. Until that day, the ferry came, and made him a gay little boy. His parents were disappointed. His girlfriend slapped him. The gays fucked him. He was miserable. Then that day the ferry returned. He said, " Oh ferry please don't make me gay!" The ferry responded, "But you said you wanted to be gay!" Then for five hours straight, their was a lot of confusing and dismay. Finally the boy said, "Stop making me gay!" The ferry cursed and made him straight. Then the next day that boy went to school. The jocks complemented him on his cloths and the nerds made out. He pondered and pondered. He thought and he thought. But nothing unimportant came to mind. Then later that day, the jocks teased him for not being gay. Then after that day, the boy kept trying, but he never succeeded. While the entire world was gay, he was straight. He couldn't wackerbate, he couldn't date, his life was in dismay. Then the ferry returned, that boy said, "you bitch, you whore, you fag! how could you make everybody gay but not me?" The ferry protested in anger, "You stupid little boy you said you didn't want to be gay you wanted to be straight and so for that your punishment is to be straight for the rest of your life whilst everyone is gay." The ferry vanished. The boy got an idea! He pondered that if guys are gay shouldn't that make girls lesbians? Then the boy turned on his computer. Went to a porn site. Watched lesbians. Grew a smile and said, its good to be gay.

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I have other short stories, but I don't have them saved on this computer, if I find them I will post them here immediately.

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Ah no one cares for my stories -.- ah well.

[darklance714]

If you actually gave it a format, I would have read it.

[Deleted]

>.< What do you mean?