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Post by Admin on May 10, 2009 20:47:41 GMT -5
CHAPTER 1: Lardy has an Idea
Lardy awoke with a jolt. The hospital was dry and silent. Too silent for an ordinary hospital. In his bed beside him, he noticed a vegetable. Not like a carrot, but a cripple.
Curious about his surroundings and how he got to the hospital, Lardy then began wondering. "Wait, who am I? I know I'm Lardy, but... what else is there?"
The vegetable didn't respond.
"Asshole! Talk to me!" Lardy screamed quietly.
The vegetable made a series of different smells. Lardy was fairly taken aback. Until he saw the chart at the vegetable's bedside.
"Matty.
Age: 15.
Gender: Unknown.
Family: None.
Sex appeal: None.
Condition: Tina Syndrome"
Tina Syndrome? That sucks.
Thanks to the Tina Syndrome, Matty was completely blind, deaf, dumb, mute, paralyzed, bald, and albino. He was basically a living ragdoll. Matty had no feeding tube. Lardy was confused.
Lardy poked out of the hospital and looked around. Nobody there. Nobody in any other room. No doctors. Nobody but him and Matty.
Lardy didn't want Matty to die, as he wanted something to talk to, so he slung Matty onto his back and trudged out of the abandoned hospital.
But Lardy wasn't ready for the beautiful beauty waiting on the other side of the hospital door...
TO BE CONTINUED!
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2009 21:01:11 GMT -5
Does Matty happen to be a pinball wizard?
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Post by Hauskaz on May 10, 2009 22:40:29 GMT -5
lmfao
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Post by killerinstinct on May 11, 2009 5:44:16 GMT -5
rofl. I love it.
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Post by shadowdeath on May 11, 2009 12:51:59 GMT -5
I KNOW WHO THE BEAUTY IS
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Post by Bitchy Grammar Queen on May 11, 2009 13:17:20 GMT -5
Matt's comment was better than the whole story.
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Post by killerinstinct on May 12, 2009 2:06:20 GMT -5
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Post by shadowdeath on May 12, 2009 14:43:50 GMT -5
Me
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Post by killerinstinct on May 12, 2009 19:11:09 GMT -5
Riiiiiiight.
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Post by shadowdeath on May 12, 2009 20:31:06 GMT -5
I'm the editor of this story.
I see the advance copies.
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Post by killerinstinct on May 13, 2009 3:11:30 GMT -5
I don't think Brandon would have chosen you to be his editor.
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Post by Admin on May 13, 2009 14:52:22 GMT -5
If I had someone be my editor, Alex wouldn't be too far down the list of top choices. He's pretty lols.
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Post by daryl1730 on May 13, 2009 16:12:27 GMT -5
I KNOW WHO THE BEAUTY IS
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Post by Admin on May 16, 2009 18:19:02 GMT -5
CHAPTER 2: The Loneliest Lardy Lardy leapt forward at the sight of the beautiful glowing beauty, dropping Matty face first onto the ground. The beauty spoke, and it was suspiciously cool. "Hey, you wanna get off maybe?" "No." whispered Lardy, seductively. But honestly, did I really need to say seductively? When was the last time someone whispered and you didn't get a rock hard erection/rock hard vagina? But I ramble, I ramble... Lardy whispered (seductively) again, "What's your name?" "subject name here. Don't capitalize the first letter or I'll pop you in the mouth and leave you for injured." subject name here suspected Matty of capitalizing the S, so he lifted him, and threw him into a mysterious nearby river. "Oh well. You're here now, subject name here. Now I won't be alone. So tell me. What the funk is going on?" subject name here sighed, "I'm sorry. I've been cursed a while back. I can only retain so much information. See, it's hard to be beautiful forever, so I gave up my mental capacity to be really hot." Lardy nodded with agreement, slightly distracted by watching Matty flowing down the river. "Matty isn't a pinball wizard." said subject name here, "I knew him. He was fairly bad at pinball. In fact, it doesn't take a logical human being to be able to tell that he would be bad at it." "How did you know him?" said Lardy. "Iunno" said subject name here. "Why?" said Lardy. "Maybe a lesbian vampire drained my memory." said subject name here. "That's dumb." said Lardy. Turning away, insulted, subject name here cried. Now feeling lonely with subject name here's back turned to him, Lardy felt an odd feeling in his genitalia. "My name is The Loneliest Muon, by the way." said Lardy. subject name here turned back around. "But NOW it's Lardy." said Lardy. It was sunny that day, so subject name here knew everything would be okay!  Then someone fell out of the sky. Uh oh! |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2009 19:56:36 GMT -5
Liar Matty is totally a pinball wizard, who has been sexually abused by subject name here!
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Post by killerinstinct on May 17, 2009 2:47:24 GMT -5
Ner, Matty sucks at pinball, HAH!
Who's falling, who's falling?
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Post by shadowdeath on May 17, 2009 14:38:17 GMT -5
I KNOW WHO'S FALLING
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Post by killerinstinct on May 17, 2009 16:54:43 GMT -5
You?
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Post by Admin on May 24, 2009 3:16:32 GMT -5
CHAPTER 3: Matty Is Gray minus r.
Matty! The body dropping was Matty! He didn't seem to mind, as he probably didn't notice he was about to dent solid concrete.
Splat.
Matty hit the ground like a ragdoll. Surprisingly, he twitched.
"Guh ruuh eaugh!" Matty mumbled and thrashed.
Lardy looked at Matty confused. "Hey buddy... what happened?"
Since Matty had never heard language, he was not capable of comprehending that statement, but he WAS in shock that he could suddenly hear, see, and move. He didn't notice that he couldn't talk. Probably because he couldn't hear.
subject name here looked up. Another figure was dropping from the sky. Did he say anything? Nah. Why?
A second figure dropped from the sky right onto Matty.
"I KNOW WHO FELL!"
"Who?" asked Lardy.
"ME! Alex! ME!"
Lardy looked at Matty, who was becoming more albino. The bald and confused albino just grunted in pain.
Alex chuckled lightly.
"I know where the plot is going next..."
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Post by killerinstinct on May 24, 2009 4:14:36 GMT -5
... where?
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Post by shadowdeath on May 24, 2009 10:57:00 GMT -5
Where's the caps lock?
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Post by killerinstinct on May 24, 2009 14:34:42 GMT -5
It broke.
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Post by shadowdeath on May 24, 2009 23:30:13 GMT -5
Then how come he didn't use the shift key?
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Post by killerinstinct on May 25, 2009 3:01:48 GMT -5
Maybe he forgot.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2009 21:08:09 GMT -5
Where's the next chapter?
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Post by Admin on Jun 4, 2009 21:59:48 GMT -5
It comes on weekends, but since I wasn't here last weekend, you get 2 chapters this weekend.
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Post by killerinstinct on Jun 5, 2009 5:41:44 GMT -5
yay!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2009 6:09:32 GMT -5
Hurray!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2009 5:47:19 GMT -5
You liar.
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Post by killerinstinct on Jun 8, 2009 8:06:39 GMT -5
Yeah. We're still waiting you know!
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